Talking to a girl who went through a hard depression, I saw some of the greatest challenges faced by of our society. Every case is specific and thats why we have psychoanalytic. I am by no means a doctor of psychology and my ways of teaching are much more current ways of solutions that long-term fixes. Still, there is some general guidelines that I am interested in that apply to everyone and that everyone should in my opinion know. This is what I did while talking to this girl.
I asked her a hypothetical question I ask during my workshops: If I gave you unconditional and pure happiness right now which you can have inside of you forever, what would you do?
I wanted to see whether my teachings are true and are applicable on their natural extremes and in the case of depressions they did. In no time she forgot about all her problems and was smiling and laughing.
She told me that she had a difficult situation with her family and that the way she overcame it is by self-expression – art. She pained pictures for month after her situation and that seemed to work. Indeed creative expression is one of the most used techniques in clinics where they work with the depressed.
She could not visualize the world where she could no longer feel depressed or hurt. Indeed much of her wording was coming from the negative frame rather than the positive. By doing so she was stuck in a reality which is negative. Change the words and you change the world.
Another things I noticed immediately is where her focus was. She was focusing on extremely negative situations of her life, on her past and on possible future where only hurt exists. Given this focus, she does nothing to help herself and indeed everything to go back to therapy and clinic. How does it help?
Of course she wants to show the support towards her family, but being negative, depressed and in such an emotional state that others have now to help you creates more problems than it solves. On the other side, if she just could be positive, creative, contributing, showing other people that it is possible to be happy no matter what, that is the gift that more people would appreciate. People who are negative don’t want to have more negative people surround them! I helps nothing. They say it does, and it does, but just to a point. The point is called compassion. You tell people that you understand their pain in your own way and that they have to be strong for themselves and for others. You give them strength and hope. That is a true power of support! Imagine everyone could do it.
So what if she did have an unconditional and pure source of happiness in her live? It is possible that she would be working on her higher goals and she would become an achiever. Achieving would bring new power to her life and even perhaps the opportunity to help her family where they really need the support. Because even if you fail short of your goals, someone else can pick up, or at least you know that you did absolutely everything possible in that situation. Nobody can ask for anything more than that. Positivism can save lives.
The last words I would live to any person who is going through a depression or a big life challenge is:
Stay strong. In your strength other people will find power and opportunity. This is indeed a great life challenge for you. The way how you will come out of it will determine your life. That will be the person who you will become. And I want to see you strong, energetic and beautiful person I know you are.