When I went to do gymnastic acrobatics at age on 22 years old, they told me I was too old. Average age of starting in this domain was around 6-8 years old.
The oldest person to join my swimming club was 42 years old. He was told he was too old. He swam faster than majority of people in the club, due to his motivation and preparation swimming in rivers and the ocean.
When I was at University, I asked my teacher for some help regarding one of assignments. The response I got was in line to “University education is not for everyone”.
Kids are repeatedly said they can or can’t do something anything.
You see human beings have a notion of perfect amount of everything. There is too young and too old, too little or too much. There is right and the wrong.
If you are not right, you are wrong. If you are wrong, be sure to hear about it. In some cases you will be punished and in some places you will be shot at.
Our society is built on rules and ways of conduct. People are expected to walk, talk and dress in a certain way. If you are different, be sure to hear about it.
In his program Non-violent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg speaks about how a lot of violence comes from this mind set.
In the examples of me and other gentlemen joining our respective sport organizations, there were some people what was the right age to join. However, whenever I say “age is just a number” people tend to agree.
All these people meant good, but they were though to communicate in reward or punishment, positive and negative feedback.
Both positive and negative feedback don’t work. They may change our behavior in short-term, but in long-term the desired effects often does not persist.
“I can understand that negative feedback does not work, but why does positive one does not work?” – you may ask.
Positive only exists because of negative. People can communicate positively, but negative will be always sub communicated. It is like raising the level on the negative. Even with our best effort, the new negative becomes an average performance.
This is why grades system, courthouses, and rehabilitation centers are flawed in their core.
This is the paradigm that we need to understand for learning, personal growth, and motivation.