Recently I was speaking to one of my clients on the topic of him (not) being successful in live.
He came to me with a concern of falling back on old patterns on many subjects I have talked with him: dieting, exercising, consumption, self-development, business growth and emotional health. Even his dating was affected by the fact that he was falling on old patterns.
Fair enough he admitted that he was not following that much the success rules and guide lines I gave him. Breaking it down, we found that he did actually give it a try and had some success (provided that the things I work with him work for me as well, as I live by my own advice).
The moment he felt short was right after he had that short-term success. So why did he not continue with the success if what he was doing was working?
Going even deeper into this persons motivations, I already knew that his previous attempts to find success in several areas of his live were not successful. This was exactly the reason why this person was stopping the second he was having any success. His desired to stop being successful was logical, meaning his failure was logical.
His previous experiences taught him that trying to be successful will be painful. As he did not have enough success yet, his references and ideas of what success looked like, on subconscious level, was pain. He had pain before when he tried to do something. He was expecting to have pain again, maybe not in the present, but in the future. This is why he stopped. This is the reason why many people who go through the live never doing any hard decisions. According to Brian Tracy, success coach, the average number decisions people make in live is less than 1. This is because majority of people only think of doing something, but never do it.
There is a part of us always wanting to have more and to be more. This is the part in us that looks for success. There is also a dreamer in all of us. Dreamers do not take actions and hoping that good things will just happen. This is the part more likely to believe in supernatural, in the fact that it can win a lottery, that a dream job will just present itself, that other people will change (not the person in question) and that a perfect person will walk into our lives.
The dreamer exists in all of us. I can definitely relate to dreamer myself, as for a long part of my live I was one. The dreamer gave me urge to do what’s familiar and easy (not to take decisions).
The lesson here is to make actions. To do what we least want to do if it is necessary. Successful people are so because they do what is hard. The things that we don’t want to do are the same that they don’t want to do. There is no difference and no reason why one person can’t reach success.